My Parent are Grandparents and the best one too #12

 Grand Parents The 12 of Oct is grandparents day and I never felt like I had a grandparent who I enjoyed the most but there were moment growing up and now that will never forget that make me laugh even today. One of them is grandma Dowdle having a fit about something to do with there mission they were going on in Africa. Don't remember the reason only that it was funny to watch a sixty something year act like a two year old. Then there is the love my parent for there grandchildren that is one best things in the world like the gift of a lobster for Emma. So the gift of a lobster is a store worth telling. We were shopping with my Mom and it was Easter Time. Emma was a bit ants and wanted out the cart to keep her happy I took her to see the lobster and well she loved it. My dad happen to call ask how we were and what Emma was doing. Told about her love of watching the lobster. When she was about seven month she saw one for the first time at my Mom's birthday party and well she liked it so much tried to teeth on it at the time. That when the love of lobster started so watching them live and moving around in the store was a big treat. Well  when grandpa found out what she was doing he said hey if she like them so much buy her a lobster. No way dad was my response, they were 12 dollars a pound at that time. Way to much for something so small and not worth there money. Then he says because it is Easter soon , get her a bunny then. No way, I will let them spoil her but that was to much so. We agreed on a balloon. He would give her the world if he could. An that was when she was the only one now that there are three of them my parents have helped take great care there grandchildren. They gave us little bit extra we need to buy our house. An they gave us money for Christmas last year and this year. Which money is easier to send then trying to shop present, but still wow they good to there grandchildren that are far a way. There Grand Ma Becky and Papa Kalvin are pretty awesome also they let them come for a sleep over that there house one weekend just them. An they also let them come and sleep over during the Rode in July. They also have taken them hoarse back riding in the spring between the season of April Conference on Saturday. They each have help and done things with them that are unforgettable. I am so glad they are getting to know both grandparents better then I got to know mine and that they know that there is such a value in having such a good relation with them. I hope it will help keep them going on the right path I know those who were adopted grandparents and family keep me going were I should. So hopeful blood related can do just as good for them if not better.

My Emma Rose made me a mom first #13

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fifth birthday party

six month

At the Saint George water park

daddy and Emma six month old 2005

First day of school

First Bus ride to school

what a good big sister watch Thomas and TV

All her little friends

First week of school still and JJ wanting to be like his sister with the back pack tried to even get on the bus

 Five years old EMMA IS FIVE My little girl is old enough now to let her go to school note that I didn't say send I let her go. I was planing on home school but I felt she need this as well to go and learn from other good teacher then her parents. She has become quit a a little tomboy in a dress is the best way to put it. She so much like me but so her own little person who want to be a part but have her own part. She is so caring helpful and creative. My days moments and year she has been in my life have never been the same. She bring her light and love of life in to mine. I remember the day she was born and how she had to be a way from me for so long because of the water in her lungs. I was so scared for her and wanted my baby back. Who I only got to see for five minutes. I never wanted to let her out my site a gain. But I did a little at time but when she turned five. Somewhere deep in side I wanted to scream no world you can't have her she mine, I want to raise my daughter and keep her to my self. WHY did I feel this way because I know how hard it was going to be the only girl in the family and the oldest. Now, I am not the oldest but I have done a lot thing first in my family and being the only girl in  a lot of way treat the oldest and I am in the middle of my three brothers. So when I know this fact and she had her birthday party. Which was such fun day so much like I was a  lover of water no sure how to swim yet working on that with her but she loves the water. An at that party with all those people and that summer to go I know it would be best to send her to school she has so much to give and she had a lot to learn. An she know if she is lost of scared to pray even if just lost her blanket for a time she prayed about she has a great deal of faith. An wants to know it all yet I don't have all the answer so I let her go to school and she growing more and more in to who the lord would have her become. Out all things I love most about her is how she loves my time with me to sing make things with me to have girl time together. We hope one day to add a sister but if not we will have girl time with our Aunt's and Grandma's and play.  More then anything she is just what I need a lot like me, but so much better even from the start she is an amazing example of love and forgiveness she has and does give me something everyday of my life.

A name and a blessing for the third time # 14

 Aug 1, 2010 The day  my husband gave our third child a name and a blessing and the hardest thing was there no mic. But he was blessed to follow the priesthood bear before him and to be like his name sake. Both them, and we didn't take enough picture of that weekend but it was a wonderful time to be together with all our family. Not all the Uncles ( my brothers) could be there but they were there in spirit. It was a very special day for me. It was Kern third name and blessing in our family but yet every time he goes to give the blessing he told me that he feels worried he will not say the right thing or is he the right person to be trusted with this little spirit that has so much greatness. Can he help him know that and will he able to remember what is said in the blessing so lead all our children the right way. I love that he told me that how he feels when giving them a blessing but raising everything he just wants to do it right. Just like me. I love our new little boy and when Kern blessed him to follow his name sake I hope to remind him of that and hope he does it.  That weekend was the first time my dad had meet him and how cute they were together I loved it. I know that as he has grown and be given such a good start, we will do all we can to help full fill that blessing. 

This is the best of two picture I know my eyes are close and Kern looks mad but everyone else is wonderful.

Six years for the here and now, forever to go #15

 June 19, 2004 Six year ago So six year go by in a blink and I wouldn't change a thing but to remember to bring our cake knife. Rent a tux for Kern for my bridle pictures and try and will someday make a point to go to the temple each year and do sealing. Something always has come up, so this next year we aren't going to let anything stop us. An if I could choose which temple we did sealing in I would love to do them in the Boston Temple. That is if we have money to fly home to do it. If not here will be just fine also. I remember how claim I felt that morning they say most brides are nerve's, not me not after I got shower ready to go and I felt light headed to think I was the one getting married that day the 19 of June. So I prayed for peaces and to not be worry or scared to know everything would be just fine and it was just fine. It wasn't a perfect day but if  our sealing had not been pushed up  then I photographer would have been late. He would have been there when we lift the temple and I wouldn't have learned a very key thing from my husband that we were married forever, everything else could go as wrong as it wanted to we were married forever. Wow when that sunk in the other little things that went wrong and sometime happen on days like didn't matter. I had him he had me and we started it all out right. Now we are trying to make though this life happily which someday are better then other when it comes to rat races of life. But to have him to do with is the best thing that could happen to me. No one has helped me or taught me more and the spirit has taught me a lot of how to do things right when I want to let my temper get the better of me. It has helped me see the best way to talk with Kern to share my feeling my testimony and my heart with him. We made this far another blink and it will be ten years then it will be fifty. I hope to slow down ever moment stressful or not to give more then I get and come what may and love it. Even the trail which is why right now writing of what I am most grateful  for makes such a difference in how look at my blessing this Christmas. 

28th of June 2010 three can I really divded my self in to three or more??? #16

Just waiting for the doctor to and see if it's time yet

Here we our first snuggle time together, you can see the computer in back ground for my family to see him.

There is my baby boy looks just like daddy. Grandma Becky holding him.

Meeting Grandma Becky and Grandpa Kalvin. They were so blessed to be there that day

My baby not one for picture just like his daddy.

 28 of June 2010 Well it was a  week to the due date of our third child. We didn't have a first name for him then, yet. An I had been in the day before thinking it was the real thing. But when it wasn't and woke with same pain I though no this can't be it he would be a week early but sure enough it was. Our little Thomas after the prophet Kern after his daddy got here at 5:06pm wow it was and is one the best days of my life. He was 8 pound and 15 oz 20 1/2 inches.  So my other two little ones were born on Sunday it seemed to be the day to welcome in our newest member of our family. Emma was born at 3:13am and J.J was born at 4:15 am so I thought that the 27th of June was it and I was going to have another Sunday baby. Missed church had them check me no not yet go home and wait for grandma. Which that was my wish for him to wait. So the next morning when I started getting woken up by some back pain. Though nothing of it went back to sleep about 5am I couldn't sleep any longer. Got up wrote in my journal eat and still going on the pain in my back keep up. I didn't think it was it but then it keep so called my sister in law again. Asked her to watch my Emma and J.J then we got ever thing together which was grab my bag and there things and go. Well this whole time on off about till eleven in then morning I was talking with my Mom who just like me didn't want it to be today. Said are sure O I was sure not being able to talk it was so bad. So we got in car head to my sister in laws. Huge mistake, driving to her house then the hospital I though I would die. When I got there the nurse could see my pain so she just checked me and took me to a room I was to a five and 1/2. The pain was bad I couldn't stand it already so she asked if wanted do natural and I thought about it till my back felt it was ready to crack in half.  Well they got my I.V. and hour later I was to a seven. Still they the pain doesn't get any worse from there but I could not stand it any long so I gave in got pain Meds. Then it was so much easier to relax and enjoy my time with my husband my mother and law and my mom on the phone and my wonderful husband made it possible for my mom to see the birth with the web cam. Now before you get a all grossed out she was the only on in the computer room at home and she really wanted to be there. I am only one having Grand children right now. Well with all time and talking we were trying to come up with a name so when came down right to it and he was born. He didn't have trouble breathing like his brother or sister so after they cleaned him up just a little they gave him right back and lift him with me . I was in shock and it was so wonderful to have him close me skin to skin they call and did a second time. Three pushes and he was here then as I held him and though about it I asked Kern what do you think of Thomas. He liked it and well when came down to it we all did Thomas Kern a week early. Big boy with blue, blue eyes and dimples two of them that are to die for. His older brother has one but he has two and man is he cute. His cry is strong he is so much like his dad, just like him to me a blond version I should say. He makes my life full and complete my third child second son. It was so wonderful to name for two great men his daddy and the prophet. Two men I love and look up to in some in different ways.I hope he will also. Now that his here I couldn't think of my life before.  Trying to make time for four other and my self is hard but it's what life is all about  family and I still get me time. Some times I have to push a stroller to get but I get. So this day will never be the same in our house it will be better because he came in to our family on this day. Now the trick is to not have any one else be born in the month of June or summer it's way to hot here for that. Either way I wouldn't change having my summer babies for any other babies in the world.

20 through 17 are books, scripture a new car and G.C.

 Good books I love to read and I have loved living in Utah to get LDS author that are unbelievably good. But when you have to buy each book and it's in a set of 8 or more for ten dollars a pieces it really stinks. However living here I have read so many great books that if I very move a way from Utah I will have to buy so many, so can share them with my little ones.  I love to read but in school they asked to read thing that were to what get us ready for adult life. Put us face to face with depression and other things of hardship in such a depressing way. So when I was looking for a good moral book and not know being from outside Utah, that I could get great LDS author at the Library and not pay thing was wonderful. How refreshing to read great story where the creator have morals and clean language and having faith in our heavenly father was felt in just the story basic even if the story made up they weren't member of the church it was so much cleaner then some books for school.  I would get in to those and ask the teacher if there was something better to read because I would take F if had too. Just wouldn't  have to read the book. An some the other they had me read were only a bit better.  But I am so glad now I get to choose what I can read for fun I hope when it comes down to it my children will let me know what they are reading because I will be reading with them so I know what teacher think is good books for children of any age.

The scriptures are the best part of my day. I feel like heavenly father has handed me the personal journal of some the greatest men and some women in the world. From his own life to the Nephites and Joseph Smith. I come to see how much I need to change and work on thing but also how much heavenly father loves me.  I feel my understand of the gospel grows. Because there is nothing like the witness of the spirit, when it speaks to your own spirit it's a witness that you will never for get. I loved the year I study the New Testament with Lori and  how there were a lot of us in the beginning then it was just the two of us. My testimony of the savior grow as I learned from her lesson and personal testimony who the savior was and came to know him as my savior not just the savior. I have come to know that there are things written  in there just for me or so it seems. But with every day I read the Holy Ghost teaches me something new of who I am and who should want to be most like in those pages.

New car, not brand new but new to us. My In-laws are selling us there old one for hundred dollars and we will soon have two cars. It need some work but we will have it when Kern takes Bob our other car to work. Plus we still have to name it and I haven't gotten any idea from my children but this will be my car to use whenever, such a blessing. An even more blessing we got the car put on our Insurance earlier in the months in hopes to have it up and running by Christmas. Well that was before a couple of children 13&8 hit our parked car head on with a three wheeler. They made out ok but the car well that is a whole another matter to worry about. But has been nice to think of having two car we may still have two cars. By the way this happen Thanksgiving day so we will see on Monday what really going to happen with that car. We didn't even name it yet, at least the children are ok.

 General Conferences Was amazing this year both in April and Oct the things we were told to do and given up lift-meant on were just what I needed. I got to read all the talk from April and set goals plan to do the same with this month Ensign also, can't wait. The wait is over but, I have not gotten far into it. I am stuck and Elder Holland talk, right now. With all my little trails and set back or things I let set me back. When I heard his talk it hit home now reading it remind me of a blessing I got from him personal and I try and do that more and more. Which is to slow down and smell the roses enjoy life. So I am trying to get though his talk with a box of tissues and hope to let those I love more though this blog or in other way how grateful I am for them and how I would not want to set such high goal out the Ensign with out there example in my life they help me want to be better.

By small and simple things are great things brought to pass ,24,23, 22,21

Living in West Bridgewater didn't matter which house we lived in, we could always hear the train.

Growing up in a small town and growing up outside of Utah. I love Utah and I am glad that live here now but I would  not be who I am if I didn't go to school where I did. Live in the small town and living in New England were people are so strong about what they know made me want to be sure what I wanted out of life and also to help me know who I was.  I wen to school where Everyone know everyone and as I stumbled and struggled a little I prayed for helped chose to stand out and be someone the lord could as a example for other. But I never wanted to be cool or fit in I wanted to be me so I know by follow the lord and believing and seeking out answer from him first and then my study at school everything would fall in to place and it did. I also learned that because we believed as we did we didn't have many neighbor who liked us. We would do thing on Sunday so that made us outsider looking in. So with that in mind I try not to do that with other here as I go about doing church things I try and include our neighbors in things and let them know I am glad of our differences it makes life so fun.

 The beauty of the world around me. No matter where I have stayed or lived in my life there is always something to look at and wonder in, that is beauty created for me. I love all the season for all the different wonders it hold and that I get to see each day. Like waking up this morning and having it snow all around us and being able to smell it see it in the mountains and to go play in it sliding is fun. But to not clear is super. I love the sun rise I have seen here and at home over the ocean they are both so different and amazing. Then there is the beauty of watching my daughter fall in love with flowers and wanting to know the name and I glad when I do know it. The love of rocks and sticks of all size and making hiking stick for my two older one so we can go hike dixie rock this summer. Also the red dirty I love it even when all over my children pants. Then the red of the fall trees at home and sea of trees and the wonderful colors we get there in fall. We are just hitting fall here and it's not the same. But the star at night are so wonderful here there are less trees and if get a way from the lights of city it's amazing how many more you can see here then at home and how I love the stars.

Losing my wallet when we moved after losing it twice before once for a year at store in town. Then once at the Las Vegas airport. But when we moved to our new home it was gone. So no more wallet so had to get a new recommend and few other things. Best thing  I EVER lost I  gain so much more.  How could I gain from losing it twice and a third time for good. Well I lost in the store praying for people to be honest sad because letters and a recommend holder I made in young was in there. That is why I wanted to back most. I got back a year later so cool. Then lost in the Las Vegas and really thought I would never get it back ever again. But no it came back with cash I had in it and my credit card ( I did cancel it but to have still in there was shock with where I lost it) I was grateful beyond words to get it back. Then the move to this house made it final disappear.  We looked in all the boxes and everywhere we could think of . It had to have been thrown away sadly. But from that I had to go get a new recommend from my new bishop and stake president who happens to live in my ward. So it was great gain a testimony of men. I needed it to, it pulled me right in to our new ward.  After living an old ward we loved so it was nice to feel so at home and knowing that where we got our house was good place to choose.

Hand me down cloths are so wonderful after having Thomas being able to have his older brother clothes put him in, it was great. Same goes for having cloths at all they are pain to fold but to be able to wash them and take care of them in my own home is so wonderful  To have so many at times a pain, but we never go naked that kind of nice. Also for the hand me downs I got for Emma from Aron most and some from Micheal saved us a lot. I never got a shower for her so that was really nice. As for me I have brought some of my favorite old dresses and shoes from DI and they are been the best buy ever had for half the prices.  So with all the things we can wear or get new it's great  to be first to wear it but if not the broken in one, can help you not break the bank like in this family.