New year what do with it and in it? Well take it one day at time of course each day is a new day no mistake in it and we have had a good Christmas that we need to show off how good. We were so blessed to have a web cam so we could let our family in Boston see the gift we got with there $$$ help and the ones the Uncles got when they were here with us. We also need to show your fun with Uncle Chris why we don't have picture with Uncle Spencer I don't know but he was here also and sad. I didn't get any picture of us all playing the wii that was the biggest hit... So this what I will do tell that I hope for this blog and then I will go on to my personal New Year goals. I hope for this blog to write at least once a week if not twice a week and show all event I talk about above and the ones I didn't such as the few Thanksgiving day picture I got. Some of the snow none of my children playing in so the snow silly I know. Then there the snow in the house whole neither story to that. An we have the Gunlock pageant and gift from Santa and we have never keep the picture from that because they have not very turned out good. This year they did so yea there coming also but now to get on to the reason for this post.
. Hit the ground running, I want to get back to running so bad. But the trouble is there not enough time when Kern gets home to run three miles right now so. I will start with running the four or five blocks to the store ( Lin's) and back again for a start and work up to my three miles again by hopeful March. If not sooner.
. Spend some girl time with Emma every day. Doing something that remind me I am not just a mom but a Girl also and let Emma have Mommy and her time.
. J.J and Mommy time he is in the middle of the three of them and I remember what that was like so that middle time with mommy is key.
. Thomas time will be spent taking him for a walk with me if I don't go running ( he get almost all my time with feeding and such right now)
. Read the New Testament and B.O.M. in 60 days and the New Testament a long with the Sunday school class.
. Time to write in this blog and my Journal. Journal everyday blog twice a week.
. Cut out and give the amount time I spend with the T.V when I could be doing something better just wait for it to come out a hulu or the web and watch when if I have a free hour.
. Knitting plastic bags in to make new bags, started it never finished and finish Thomas baby blanket.
. Food Budget stick to and try new things at least once a week. That means no extra trip so the store if we run out make due till shopping day
. Date Night with my husband. It has disappear and reappeared though out our whole marriage but with three children it has only happened a total of three times this year a lone. Craziness so we need to find a good babysitter for all three and go just us.
. Last but not least The Temple I have been to the temple less and less. We just live across town from it now but still we see less so I go even less. An well three little ones nursing yea. I went we walked around but did we my husband and I go in together no and by ourselves not very much this year will be different.
Friday, December 31, 2010
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
People or Things that been lost have been found by my Savior
Dear Little one, Friends and Family~ I have lost things chap stick, keys, a wallet, shoes and Binky and blankets, sippy. I lost paper for school and sleep I have lost pets and friend I have lost close adopted family and have lost parts of my self to find something better. But with all that lost I have yet to lose a few key people have always know or have that is, my parents, my heavenly father and for a short time my husband and wonderful children and Bowler family. Yes I have felt and had lost on this side. Nana our dear Nana who I felt the most like lift when found out we were going to have J.J. and that was hard. It was really hard it happened on Kern birthday 26 years old happy birthday by the way your Nana died we were in Boston at the time. Yet that was still different yet comforting to me after all the voice of sorry for your lost and tear of shock and first lost and sadness of the day were done. Came the peace of the gospel and it let me know that when,where who or how I lose people most dear to me. That I will be able to have them back. Even if they run not walk a way from the Lord in the arms of the world and want nothing to do with me. I can one day see them again hug them say I love you. I always have loved you and forever will. It gives me the gift of forever and some day are easier to look though those glasses of how eternal we as children of the King of all our and some are not. I don't know how hard it will be to lose my parents when they leave this life or my husband if he goes before or one my children go before when there young full grown married whatever. It will still hurt yet I choose faith and know that when all thing claim and I am still. I will feel them close and the lord close and know it was the right time. It may not feel right to me not yet and not for a long time and will miss and go missing them. But they are where they are needed and forever is what we can look forward to if we are faithful and if choose to run to the lord with all my tear anger and hurt not to the world. People don't just end there time on earth does and sadly some peoples lives as we know them end in there bodies. Dottie an adopted Great Grandma to my little ones had all timers and is lost to us in her own time. Not all time but a lot of it and so soon so bad. There other I know who know what that is like and it' hard but she is still here and we have had wonderful times together. I have seen and have comforted those who have lost other to sickness almost so much harder. Yet don't give up have faith let the holy ghost in when you can a little at time. But as you hurt get mad ask the lord why if you have to I sure if in a case like a child or a husband or wife young you would ask. But when your done with question listen don't run other places with loader answer. Sure they sound right a bit but there quit and false peace will not last the lord peace does go to him turn to him who know you and the one he took home best . He has the answer let him be there for you.
One and Two My Husband and the Lord complete me
Kern playing with thomas and below all three of our little ones. I love these moments they are the best. |
Two My Husband, Mr. Bowler holds my heart and beyond the lord my trust in way no one has before him. He makes me laugh and stand by me no matter what. He not perfect but his mine and we are sealed in the temple so have heavenly father helps us in all of thing. Kern has help with my goals and my testimony I love him. Kern is so smart and in my mind there is nothing he can't read how to do it and work at a bit and master it. He has a mind for those great things. But the hardest thing about all that is when he doesn't get it he feels dumb and that because he gets most thing he should get it all. So he pick on himself when he can't get right it all; right a way. Like our car that I thought we might not get to have well him and Chuck got it started and he told me that there was something they did he had no clue. That was ok if he wants to know more about the car he has to keep plugging at it and not be afraid to ask Chuck ot help out some more. He tried today to do some of what needs to be done to Luna our new car that is her name. Emma wanted it to be girl car because it is my car. An well he didn't get Luna the right wireing to make the started easy and to get the tires etc. I love what he did to get in to town and that he is always willing to try. He put's his all in to his working hard so I can stay home but he also know that I am raising three little ones not a clean house so he looks for what I have gotten done. An he is so kind when I burn something or my meal doesn't turn out as I would like. He honor his priesthood and has given me some wonderful blessing that have changed our lives. Kern is my best friend he helps me be the best I can be I hope that I do the same for him. But most all I want to hopeful help be happy now. So when it's just us again he will like being with just me like he did before we had children. An the goal is we both come out better people when it's just us again but we know each other better then we do now. Even more then that I know love he more now then did when we got married and I am looking forward to doing everything I can to make that love grow so much more greater then it is now. Kern is mine forever and I hope to enjoy ever minute of that forever here and the here to come.
Saint George Temple from Grandpa Burton house. |
One My Heavenly Father and My Testimony if had to give it all to be with heavenly father, I feel I would do so. Heavenly Father has given me everything I have my family my life and my chance to use my agency to get back to him or not. My testimony is my way of getting though everything the things the holy ghost has witnessed to me remind me of where I came from and where I plan to return one day. I hope and pray I never have to choice between family and or something just as dear as the lord. Because it may almost kill me but I will choose the my God. He gave his only begotten son and Savior Jesus Christ for me and even it was just me I know he would do it again. An that Savior would do what he promised to do for me also. Because of my Heavenly Father plan all these things on this list our mine. An the most important things are mine forever. I want so much to be with him and I hope will never turn to the world for answer or need. But if I step off the path that I will see the right way soon and get back on right a way. I know no matter what he is there for me he answered my prayer in the way I need not always the way I want. Which always works out just as it should.
Monday, December 27, 2010
Six, Five, Four Three Only a few of my favorite people and holidays
Just a few of the tree I love at the Jubilee of trees this year. Kicking off the Thanksgiving and Christmas fun. |
Six, The Holidays like them or not when things go wrong or right I am glad I have them with my family here, Boston or wherever. I would not have some thing best and silly moment with out such holidays but if we could have less drama that would be great. Then again I think it will only prepare me for my own teen drama my children will have at that time with boys, girls or life all together. It's only going to be better from here more fun and also more a bout what matter most he true meaning, behind the holiday and those I love again testimony and wonderful moments. One of those moment I again a great testimony is the simple act of just being still. During the Gunlock Christmas pageant they have the children quote from the scripture and then they sing song about the different key people but mostly the savior. An as I sat and just though of what it would really would been like to be there and quit my mind of all the worldly worries that I focus on way to often and way to much. That when I felt the spirit in only a most personal way I have in the temple and in pray it was amazing like having those moments all over again. I also felt that way in teaching and sharing with my children about the lords birth and letting them know Santa is great fun but no really and the savior is real and he is way we have Christmas in our house. Then I thought well what did I give this year to my savior. Well I tried to give him a more open heart and that is quicker to respond to the holy ghost and do as he would if he was here.
Five, The Holy Ghost He brought my husband and together he told us to start our family. He has guided me though school what to do with my little ones when I worry. He is one my best friend and I am so glad that he was given to me as gift at eight I hope only to teach my children better then, I was taught how to use him from start. How to feel him close and why you or anyone would want him as there best friend. He has witness to me that my Heavenly Father has a plan just for me and has given me this gift so can do what he would have me do. He also has taught me to tell my children right up front that I know this because of his help It let them know that they can have that some day and that if there in trouble the lord will let me know if I am listening how to help them and keep my self on the straight and narrow.
Four,My Boys, I have two boys now JJ and Thomas are my little men there so sweet JJ is the one who loves hair he want to just play with. He was my biggest worry when I cut my hair, don't worry he still plays with it. He smiled from the minute he was born till now. Thomas is my big boy ready to go a week early and looks just like daddy jj a good mix of both Thomas is his daddy double. He loves to talk the minute he started screaming to ever little sound he loves to let you know he is here to be held or listened too. He is his dad in everything but his eye's. But that goes for all three of our children they are all blue eyed how well we blaim on the grandpa they both have blue eyes. So my Thomas he love shiny things his favorite his the brass handles on the draw on his daddy's disk. If I am reading online or looking at face book that is what he plays with. He leans forward if he see something he really like and tries and touch he does everything in power to get to it even if your holding and he will almost fall he still does because he wants it. J.J He is so honest he showed that today, when he was caught kicking the down stair door at grandpa's and well him and Emma together and when I asked them if they did it. Emma smiled her smile and he said well a yea mom. We all started laughing about it. He also loves to run all over the place and right now running is not working because he is growing and with that he is tripping a lot but he get up and keep going. He also tells me when he is done throw a fit crying and yelling , at the end he says I am done mom I am done. Thomas has dimples that you just want to put in your pocket to keep and he love to be sang to he is the baby. But as soon he start moving around more then rolling J.J and him are going to have a blast together.
Three, My Girl Emma is so like me the little girl in dress climbing the tree and getting dirty.She loves her hair long, hate doing anything with it. She also is the biggest help with her brother being a little mother to them but also being willing to let them know when they bug her or step out of line. She has here dad mind when come to learning things and she loves to sing. She has her daddy smile when you tell her to smile for picture but when she just playing or smiling to be friendly that is the really Emma Rose smile. She know what she want to do and most of time does it even if she get in trouble. She has such a strong will, but most all a sweet heart she love girl time and when we don't get it she let's me know. She love to creator and my things like our snow flack on the window for Christmas and also making my job as mom easier. But only when you tell her the whole truth even if she doesn't understand it because of her age she still want to know and see if a hug will help. Like with Santa who she loves but know he and some our favorite books aren't true. But that good feeling she gets when she prays is really and she know she is a daughter of god and she let me know that as daughter of good there is a way should act and not act. She is amazing and if don't get anymore daughter till we adopt when that happens or if happens. I know I was given the chance to be the mother to one of my best friends in heaven and we are going to spend forever together.
Ps. I am final almost at the end of thirty thing list and will be writing about Christmas and other things. But also sharing with you all the trails and fun of being one person and being out number one to three most the day and how I do and keep smiling.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
My Parents and the example of men & women who helped me be a fun and good paren t#8&7
Eight, My Dad 's I say Dad's because there is first and for most my dad who raised me and then my father in law who are both a lot a like in that they are hard workers. I have learned from my dad that you talk with heavenly father every morning and night if have to read something when your going to be spending time in the bathroom the scripture are a good one. An Holiday's are not play days there are work days. My other dad let me know how not to talk to my husband and how if I need anything he is there. The dad who trust me to make it back with my family and his trust well placed shows me I am the most important thing he will ever have in this world and he want me home with honor. These men who taught me things are also my bishop father of the ward who been there for me in a way Heavenly Father himself would do if he was here. What I know most about is that my dad is he will do anything for me. I am so dear to him. My father in law is so much like him but in teaching me not to order Kern but to entreat him be patient with him because is stubborn like my Kern and he know that part of my husband better then I did. I getting to know him better every day. I have also learned that trusting him helped me trust in the lord who's love was and is still greater and that hard to think my dad is there for me always just like heavenly father. I learned that from his example.
Seven, My Mom's I say Mom's also because my Mom is the one I want to be most like but there is also the way my teacher Lori, showed a to teach in a way I wanted to teach as Mom she was a Mom to me in that moment. There is my Mom laughing at me when she know I did something bad but finding it funny. Teaching me sometimes it better to laugh. There is Edie to teaching me to let my children of have agency but help understand there agency. My Mom showing how to bake and cook and Becky teaching me how to cook some of my husband favorite. My young women leader Lydia helping me see that being a mom is the greatest thing you can very experience but it is always worth waiting for. All the example I had and took from the best one I hope to be most like. Is my Heavenly Mother her help in Heavenly Father work is there if we look but he protects her because she is his eternal companine and I hope that I can be value like that one day. But to also to bring the best out of all my children in the little things and moments we get to be together that what I remember most about all these women but especial my Mom.
Seven, My Mom's I say Mom's also because my Mom is the one I want to be most like but there is also the way my teacher Lori, showed a to teach in a way I wanted to teach as Mom she was a Mom to me in that moment. There is my Mom laughing at me when she know I did something bad but finding it funny. Teaching me sometimes it better to laugh. There is Edie to teaching me to let my children of have agency but help understand there agency. My Mom showing how to bake and cook and Becky teaching me how to cook some of my husband favorite. My young women leader Lydia helping me see that being a mom is the greatest thing you can very experience but it is always worth waiting for. All the example I had and took from the best one I hope to be most like. Is my Heavenly Mother her help in Heavenly Father work is there if we look but he protects her because she is his eternal companine and I hope that I can be value like that one day. But to also to bring the best out of all my children in the little things and moments we get to be together that what I remember most about all these women but especial my Mom.
From buddie walks to not being able to walk. 11, 10, &9
boat making together. |
face painting |
All the fun at the buddy walk. |
my j.j playing with my long hair, three months before my hair cut. |
i loved my long hair but i didn't want another little playing with it when i needed to work, but his playing is one of my favorite moments. |
Thanksgiving day, Emma took this one |
Thanksgiving day, J.J trying to take this one and almost cut our heads off so I had to help him. Emma wanting to watch the tv not take a picture. |
Ten, Locks of love I final went in to just get my hair termed, but when they asked what I wanted to do I really wasn't sure. So told the hair stylist of my want to cut my hair and give to lock of love but didn't know if I had enough. So I asked and she said you have 12 and she showed me with her comb how short it would be if I did it. An I have been growing my hair for our whole marriage I have cut one or two inches off before but not this short ever. So I did, and because it was going to locks of love I didn't pay a thing for the hair cut that was kind of nice. So having short hair now after year of really long hair is nice I can blow dry it fast if I wish and curling it with hot roller or curlers is that much quicker and dry faster it's been nice and much need change with Thomas now grabbing at everything I didn't want him play with my hair like j.j does even now with it short.
Nine, Wisdom teeth pulled check falling with baby check, fractured ankle priceless Kern went in for a clean one day, came back needing the rest the wisdom teeth pulled. The first two were pulled when we were first married now he need the other done. Ok no be deal took him over dropped him off got lunch went back. Went home took the Thomas up stairs to change him and well tripped over JJ truck and fell twisted my ankle really bad, I was more worried about the baby who started screaming he was fine me not so much. So before the weekend was over I got a walking cast and we all got to stay home from church together so fun. Unforgettable weekend. The hardest part about it was I needed to stay off it for the weekend. Kern wasn't meant to do any heavy lifting yet getting up and down the stair what little of that I need to do was impossible. So he was lifting me. Now I am not huge but I just had Thomas a month ago so yeah I am not 98 pounds either. So yeah it was a worry for him lifting me and the two making up the stairs. I joked with him a lot that weekend asking why can't little simple things like getting teeth out be the only thing we have to deal with why do we get more. We must be really love by the lord trying to bring us as family together to work hard to take care of each other. An to see what can hand with just five in our family. It make me wonder who we got coming to this family when time come what they bring for all of us.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
My Parent are Grandparents and the best one too #12
Grand Parents The 12 of Oct is grandparents day and I never felt like I had a grandparent who I enjoyed the most but there were moment growing up and now that will never forget that make me laugh even today. One of them is grandma Dowdle having a fit about something to do with there mission they were going on in Africa. Don't remember the reason only that it was funny to watch a sixty something year act like a two year old. Then there is the love my parent for there grandchildren that is one best things in the world like the gift of a lobster for Emma. So the gift of a lobster is a store worth telling. We were shopping with my Mom and it was Easter Time. Emma was a bit ants and wanted out the cart to keep her happy I took her to see the lobster and well she loved it. My dad happen to call ask how we were and what Emma was doing. Told about her love of watching the lobster. When she was about seven month she saw one for the first time at my Mom's birthday party and well she liked it so much tried to teeth on it at the time. That when the love of lobster started so watching them live and moving around in the store was a big treat. Well when grandpa found out what she was doing he said hey if she like them so much buy her a lobster. No way dad was my response, they were 12 dollars a pound at that time. Way to much for something so small and not worth there money. Then he says because it is Easter soon , get her a bunny then. No way, I will let them spoil her but that was to much so. We agreed on a balloon. He would give her the world if he could. An that was when she was the only one now that there are three of them my parents have helped take great care there grandchildren. They gave us little bit extra we need to buy our house. An they gave us money for Christmas last year and this year. Which money is easier to send then trying to shop present, but still wow they good to there grandchildren that are far a way. There Grand Ma Becky and Papa Kalvin are pretty awesome also they let them come for a sleep over that there house one weekend just them. An they also let them come and sleep over during the Rode in July. They also have taken them hoarse back riding in the spring between the season of April Conference on Saturday. They each have help and done things with them that are unforgettable. I am so glad they are getting to know both grandparents better then I got to know mine and that they know that there is such a value in having such a good relation with them. I hope it will help keep them going on the right path I know those who were adopted grandparents and family keep me going were I should. So hopeful blood related can do just as good for them if not better.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
My Emma Rose made me a mom first #13
Edit | |
fifth birthday party |
six month |
At the Saint George water park |
daddy and Emma six month old 2005 |
First day of school |
First Bus ride to school |
what a good big sister watch Thomas and TV |
All her little friends |
First week of school still and JJ wanting to be like his sister with the back pack tried to even get on the bus |
Thursday, December 2, 2010
A name and a blessing for the third time # 14
Aug 1, 2010 The day my husband gave our third child a name and a blessing and the hardest thing was there no mic. But he was blessed to follow the priesthood bear before him and to be like his name sake. Both them, and we didn't take enough picture of that weekend but it was a wonderful time to be together with all our family. Not all the Uncles ( my brothers) could be there but they were there in spirit. It was a very special day for me. It was Kern third name and blessing in our family but yet every time he goes to give the blessing he told me that he feels worried he will not say the right thing or is he the right person to be trusted with this little spirit that has so much greatness. Can he help him know that and will he able to remember what is said in the blessing so lead all our children the right way. I love that he told me that how he feels when giving them a blessing but raising everything he just wants to do it right. Just like me. I love our new little boy and when Kern blessed him to follow his name sake I hope to remind him of that and hope he does it. That weekend was the first time my dad had meet him and how cute they were together I loved it. I know that as he has grown and be given such a good start, we will do all we can to help full fill that blessing.
This is the best of two picture I know my eyes are close and Kern looks mad but everyone else is wonderful. |
Six years for the here and now, forever to go #15
June 19, 2004 Six year ago So six year go by in a blink and I wouldn't change a thing but to remember to bring our cake knife. Rent a tux for Kern for my bridle pictures and try and will someday make a point to go to the temple each year and do sealing. Something always has come up, so this next year we aren't going to let anything stop us. An if I could choose which temple we did sealing in I would love to do them in the Boston Temple. That is if we have money to fly home to do it. If not here will be just fine also. I remember how claim I felt that morning they say most brides are nerve's, not me not after I got shower ready to go and I felt light headed to think I was the one getting married that day the 19 of June. So I prayed for peaces and to not be worry or scared to know everything would be just fine and it was just fine. It wasn't a perfect day but if our sealing had not been pushed up then I photographer would have been late. He would have been there when we lift the temple and I wouldn't have learned a very key thing from my husband that we were married forever, everything else could go as wrong as it wanted to we were married forever. Wow when that sunk in the other little things that went wrong and sometime happen on days like didn't matter. I had him he had me and we started it all out right. Now we are trying to make though this life happily which someday are better then other when it comes to rat races of life. But to have him to do with is the best thing that could happen to me. No one has helped me or taught me more and the spirit has taught me a lot of how to do things right when I want to let my temper get the better of me. It has helped me see the best way to talk with Kern to share my feeling my testimony and my heart with him. We made this far another blink and it will be ten years then it will be fifty. I hope to slow down ever moment stressful or not to give more then I get and come what may and love it. Even the trail which is why right now writing of what I am most grateful for makes such a difference in how look at my blessing this Christmas.
28th of June 2010 three can I really divded my self in to three or more??? #16
Just waiting for the doctor to and see if it's time yet |
Here we our first snuggle time together, you can see the computer in back ground for my family to see him. |
There is my baby boy looks just like daddy. Grandma Becky holding him. |
Meeting Grandma Becky and Grandpa Kalvin. They were so blessed to be there that day |
My baby not one for picture just like his daddy. |
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